I showed up in Miami and found an unwelcome greeting for vegetarians. Attempting a "non-corporate" lunch, we toured a few "delis" and sandwich shops, and decided that most people think it is illegal to put anything else between bread besides the fat of a living animal.
Miami is in serious need of creative eateries. Maybe that will follow the influx of the cafe fad.
We were inevitably saved by my gumption and higher intuition and a nice waitress at the Bagel Cove, another new york, ie Jewish, style eatery peppering the sunnny panera landscape.
But really, without Muriel Rukeyser, I would forget my sense and put shampoo on my leg instead of lotion. Oh wait, I did that.
I need non linear poetry to think straight.
"The universe is a collection of stories, not atoms"
She is the cloud that changes shape, the stars I can see with my eyes, but not my camera. I could yell "Time Changes, See It!" from the rooftops, but few would catch my meaning.
How can I not feel like the mouse sneaking about the mix of cats, or even the cat in the junkyard with the dogs, or the rain storm on its way to the town, with a thousand umbrella-less citizens with fresh hair and sunglasses who never check the weather.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
shit shoveler
That's what they told David we were. Way showers, or shit shovelers. I was under the impression that the most difficult part of this would be to go the way myself, and that others would willingly follow. When I come back to kindergarten, my hometown, the land of the uncurious, I find myself irate and at my wits end to defend what I know with every fiber of my being.
"I am only trying to help!" I screamed at my Dad, after dismissing the idea that I had a political agenda, or rather I had lost touch with reality. The real problem is that any of the "proof" I sense and see and know and find, will not be acceptable to him unless its on the cover of the New York Times. Or the Medieval times. I can really relate to those witches just about now.
What is strange to me is that these people who have relied upon my good judgement time and again, would suddenly think a strange malady of the "seriousness" in my brain has befallen me rather than to suppose I have simply applied my good judgement to another course of informaiton.
If you stay out of the Self Help section of the library, it doesn't mean that psychology isn't real and verifiable and useful and can have applications for each of us, it just means that you haven't read anything on that topic.
My Dad's way of thinking is diseased. And being around his energy makes me feel like one of my eyes is missing. He left the room, and I exhaled. The hum of the lights met the living room and we all relaxed. He can take his denial elsewhere.
They are my parents, but they may be the hardest cases of all. I think I have long exxagerated what I percieved to be the good sense of my Father. I think its heavy shadow was lengthened by his tense demeanor and strict condescenion of his brief truth.
I would melt and die as a crippled mangled millionare who won the lotto and then got hit by a car if I had to stay here.
I don't even think I am bright enough to shine a light in this darkness.
I hate when I end blogs on pessimistic notes.
: (
"I am only trying to help!" I screamed at my Dad, after dismissing the idea that I had a political agenda, or rather I had lost touch with reality. The real problem is that any of the "proof" I sense and see and know and find, will not be acceptable to him unless its on the cover of the New York Times. Or the Medieval times. I can really relate to those witches just about now.
What is strange to me is that these people who have relied upon my good judgement time and again, would suddenly think a strange malady of the "seriousness" in my brain has befallen me rather than to suppose I have simply applied my good judgement to another course of informaiton.
If you stay out of the Self Help section of the library, it doesn't mean that psychology isn't real and verifiable and useful and can have applications for each of us, it just means that you haven't read anything on that topic.
My Dad's way of thinking is diseased. And being around his energy makes me feel like one of my eyes is missing. He left the room, and I exhaled. The hum of the lights met the living room and we all relaxed. He can take his denial elsewhere.
They are my parents, but they may be the hardest cases of all. I think I have long exxagerated what I percieved to be the good sense of my Father. I think its heavy shadow was lengthened by his tense demeanor and strict condescenion of his brief truth.
I would melt and die as a crippled mangled millionare who won the lotto and then got hit by a car if I had to stay here.
I don't even think I am bright enough to shine a light in this darkness.
I hate when I end blogs on pessimistic notes.
: (
Saturday, August 11, 2007
SPP.gov
ahhahaha.
The North American Union. The Brave New World. The Amero.
And on the government's disambiguation website concerning the merging of the whole North West Hemisphere, ironically enough all of the Myths and Facts are placed so close to eachother, one after another, in the same type, that it lays plain the way they do things. If you read them straight down, its hard to discern which is which, and maybe thats the way they want it. As if, maybe there is no difference between the two, or rather they are not opposites, there is really no such thing as Myth.
Wait and eat it up America. Wait and eat it up.
The North American Union. The Brave New World. The Amero.
And on the government's disambiguation website concerning the merging of the whole North West Hemisphere, ironically enough all of the Myths and Facts are placed so close to eachother, one after another, in the same type, that it lays plain the way they do things. If you read them straight down, its hard to discern which is which, and maybe thats the way they want it. As if, maybe there is no difference between the two, or rather they are not opposites, there is really no such thing as Myth.
Wait and eat it up America. Wait and eat it up.
zeitgeist movie is the story of the century
Okay, three years ago in the runup to the Iraq war, I spent alot of my time ingesting and disseminating news. I was glued to Cspan, frontline, and alternative websites. On one such website I found a testimony of a young leutenant who talked about something herefore unheard of called the Office of Special Plans. She said it was run under the Vice President's control and that basically they were doing what Seymour Hersh later described as "stovepiping." They were cherrypicking old evidence from the First Gulf War that had since been disproven, and superceding the role of the CIA, essentially building a purposefully false smear case against Iraq. They lied. I knew. I didn't have anyone important to tell, and my friends seemed to be disconnected from my on sense of passion and relevance. They nodded and turned back to Sex and the City. Now, everyone knows. Its been years.
However, in this case, we may not be so lucky. I have essentially been convinced through the above titled movie and my own research that 911 was a huge sham. A sham. A lie. And a damn sloppy one at that. The wholes in their story are so gaping that looking at it now with science and records and testimony in our favor, I am ashamed I ever believed otherwise. However, getting all the way down this road was not a quick and easy journey. So, convincing the public at large that this government is like the Roman emperor Nero burning his own city...is almost impossible. Almost. I have the facts in my favor. And we do have the internet. And PBS and NPR. And the Universities. The Romans didn't have that.
After writing that, I still forget to believe it myself. I don't want to. And I have to go back in my brain and remember the facts so that I can remember the truth. The zeitgeist is wrong. The world is upside down. And we are pawns in their game.
However, in this case, we may not be so lucky. I have essentially been convinced through the above titled movie and my own research that 911 was a huge sham. A sham. A lie. And a damn sloppy one at that. The wholes in their story are so gaping that looking at it now with science and records and testimony in our favor, I am ashamed I ever believed otherwise. However, getting all the way down this road was not a quick and easy journey. So, convincing the public at large that this government is like the Roman emperor Nero burning his own city...is almost impossible. Almost. I have the facts in my favor. And we do have the internet. And PBS and NPR. And the Universities. The Romans didn't have that.
After writing that, I still forget to believe it myself. I don't want to. And I have to go back in my brain and remember the facts so that I can remember the truth. The zeitgeist is wrong. The world is upside down. And we are pawns in their game.
Adolf Guiliani
I will never trust a Republican government, because they don't believe in government and they don't believe in people.
I just watched "Guiliani Time," and it sickened me to the core. It touched the edges of my brain that always knew something was amiss. There is a hole, and I fill it with the wrong things, and the hole is there because something is amiss. And injustice reigns and apathy is a vicious crime. How dare you not be a human being. What life are you living and why?
Maybe I should stay single so I always have this time to be aflame, so I don't make other plans and hide away. I never wanted to do that, except when I was in highschool and college and I was hurting. I had dreams then of a farm and a boy. But when it came, too late, I was healed from that need, and my needs had evolved into a more complex and moral and intellectual and spiritual sense of fulfillment that no ordinary love could fill. I needed a mind and an equal, and I am seeking instead the equal of myself in myself. I am seeking who I want to be, and not waiting to find it anylonger in another person.
Maybe this should be separate posts, but I think I wanted to include the context for my passion, and why passion is not more common. I don't want my passion to leak out onto this page and stay here only though, I want it to live in my heart, and be heard in the ears of the heartless.
As we grow and live we can sometimes cut ourselves off from relating to things that are outside of us. But if you ever get there, just think and look into their eyes and look for their hearts and you will find your own. Adolf Guiliani lost his. He is a cruel man. He should be no where near power, but when you find outsomething that is true and controversial, it can be difficult to make people believe that anything is important anymore, if they can't see it.
In a later post, I will address what we see and what we don't see
I just watched "Guiliani Time," and it sickened me to the core. It touched the edges of my brain that always knew something was amiss. There is a hole, and I fill it with the wrong things, and the hole is there because something is amiss. And injustice reigns and apathy is a vicious crime. How dare you not be a human being. What life are you living and why?
Maybe I should stay single so I always have this time to be aflame, so I don't make other plans and hide away. I never wanted to do that, except when I was in highschool and college and I was hurting. I had dreams then of a farm and a boy. But when it came, too late, I was healed from that need, and my needs had evolved into a more complex and moral and intellectual and spiritual sense of fulfillment that no ordinary love could fill. I needed a mind and an equal, and I am seeking instead the equal of myself in myself. I am seeking who I want to be, and not waiting to find it anylonger in another person.
Maybe this should be separate posts, but I think I wanted to include the context for my passion, and why passion is not more common. I don't want my passion to leak out onto this page and stay here only though, I want it to live in my heart, and be heard in the ears of the heartless.
As we grow and live we can sometimes cut ourselves off from relating to things that are outside of us. But if you ever get there, just think and look into their eyes and look for their hearts and you will find your own. Adolf Guiliani lost his. He is a cruel man. He should be no where near power, but when you find outsomething that is true and controversial, it can be difficult to make people believe that anything is important anymore, if they can't see it.
In a later post, I will address what we see and what we don't see
Why is it illegal for girls to have legs?
The whiter the female, the more non existent the legs. If you are a celebrity, or rich and white, which may be the same thing, girls own personal enemy are their legs. Those useful biological standing blocks are this generation's public enemy number one. Whereas for the antebellum society, the rising waistline had to be monitored and kept at bay. How dare girls actually try and have normal digestive systems... For us, those long rounded numbers that could be used to carry us around the world, or up university steps, or across the basketball court, are being downsized. The zeitgeist of thin, pencil waists, and prepubescent stick legs has returned, along with other prefeminism attaaches.
The female movie star is usually the most guilty of this war on the thigh, but the guilt is actually being carried around in the once joyful hearts of young women. They intake all this, and are taught only to hate themselves. For celebrities like Amy Winehouse, herself a sufferer of addictions and compulsive behavior, it is not uncommon to add on another such "improvement manifesto" on their road to perfection. The opposite is the uncommon part.
I myself am a survivor and can recognize a person whose will has been stolen from them, as they have succumb to the rules of the Magazine. They want those rewards, so they follow those rules, to the T. And I endured anything to get there, because as it was explained to me, I was far removed from the latitude of reward. I had to fight and suffer to earn my way there.
I had to cross the ocean and fake my prestige. But once I arrived, there was no sense of arrival. Because as it came to be clear, there was no where to go. I had moved none. I had only succeeded in brainwashing myself with the lies of the outside. There was no truth there, only pin and self punishment, all of which I assumed I deserved. otherwise why wouldn't I have been there already? I obviously had some natural flaw that I had to destroy in order to be one of the Entitled.
I see others who may have fallen under the spell of lost will, and I don't know what to say. I think its all been said before, and they know it. But they had long since stopped believing it. So I try to convince them to believe it again. And the only way to convince is by caring and showing. As it was shown to me.
So, have your legs, have your arms, have your breasts, have your shape, and most importantly have your voice. I am whole, nothing can blow me down. Go out and talk to people, be with them, not against them, and you can become whole too.
The female movie star is usually the most guilty of this war on the thigh, but the guilt is actually being carried around in the once joyful hearts of young women. They intake all this, and are taught only to hate themselves. For celebrities like Amy Winehouse, herself a sufferer of addictions and compulsive behavior, it is not uncommon to add on another such "improvement manifesto" on their road to perfection. The opposite is the uncommon part.
I myself am a survivor and can recognize a person whose will has been stolen from them, as they have succumb to the rules of the Magazine. They want those rewards, so they follow those rules, to the T. And I endured anything to get there, because as it was explained to me, I was far removed from the latitude of reward. I had to fight and suffer to earn my way there.
I had to cross the ocean and fake my prestige. But once I arrived, there was no sense of arrival. Because as it came to be clear, there was no where to go. I had moved none. I had only succeeded in brainwashing myself with the lies of the outside. There was no truth there, only pin and self punishment, all of which I assumed I deserved. otherwise why wouldn't I have been there already? I obviously had some natural flaw that I had to destroy in order to be one of the Entitled.
I see others who may have fallen under the spell of lost will, and I don't know what to say. I think its all been said before, and they know it. But they had long since stopped believing it. So I try to convince them to believe it again. And the only way to convince is by caring and showing. As it was shown to me.
So, have your legs, have your arms, have your breasts, have your shape, and most importantly have your voice. I am whole, nothing can blow me down. Go out and talk to people, be with them, not against them, and you can become whole too.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Feminist= Lesbian?
Fuck no.
But why are the only active feminists I know ALSO lesbians? Does not anyone else know how to be a woman, to protect and define an equal and/or masterful role in the battle of the genders? (sexes is a biological term, gender is a cultural one)
That's right. I said masterful. Because as of the last 2000+ years men have had the master role. So maybe fuck them and we deserve it for the next 2000+. Not that I have anything against men, but lets let them be the holders of beauty and grace and simplemindedness. Let them wear instruments that accentuate and incarcerate their round and heavy parts. Men have just as much appendage as women. So let them be as weak and dainty as they all are really dying and have been waiting a thousand years to be. Be dainty! You know you want to.
I like to entertain myself with sweeping solutions to set the world to rights at 2 am.
But why are the only active feminists I know ALSO lesbians? Does not anyone else know how to be a woman, to protect and define an equal and/or masterful role in the battle of the genders? (sexes is a biological term, gender is a cultural one)
That's right. I said masterful. Because as of the last 2000+ years men have had the master role. So maybe fuck them and we deserve it for the next 2000+. Not that I have anything against men, but lets let them be the holders of beauty and grace and simplemindedness. Let them wear instruments that accentuate and incarcerate their round and heavy parts. Men have just as much appendage as women. So let them be as weak and dainty as they all are really dying and have been waiting a thousand years to be. Be dainty! You know you want to.
I like to entertain myself with sweeping solutions to set the world to rights at 2 am.
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